Dearest Wesley Fox:
21 months. You’re closer to two now than to one, and I can hardly believe it.
In some ways, much has changed and much has stayed the same.
You had your first official school photo taken, and you look like SUCH a big, serious boy now:
You’re using more and more words with each passing day, though I can start to see your frustration growing those times when you can’t quite find the words you want or when we can’t figure out what the sounds coming out of your mouth mean. I apologize for that.
You went through a period of hardly eating much of anything except fruit and yogurt, but your appetite seems to have grown again, and it makes me so happy when I read in your school cuddle gram that you ate ALL of your lunch and ALL of your snacks. Your appetite seems to have grown voraciously of late actually, and I feel like we spend all afternoon going up to the pantry or refrigerator to pull out your food of choice.
You still love to play outside, jump in puddles, pick up leaves to hold on to or hand to me, point out trees and flowers. On the way in and out of school you must always first and last stop to look at the fish tank. You love to try to see how many things you can carry at once, using your neck as additional holding space. For a while there, you got incredibly silly, running out of your room with two pacifiers in your mouth at once and smiling wildly at the trick or quickly trotting up and down practicing your Flashdance moves. You still love when your daddy holds you upside down or whenever one of us tickles you in a mad romp:
Then again, you’ve entered a bit of an ugly streak these past couple of months, too, throwing and hitting entirely too often, getting mad at so many little things. You’ve become really particular about which parent you want at any given time, switching allegiances so often I can never tell if you’ll push me away when I show up instead of daddy or run up to hug me fiercely.
Still. No matter how you push or pull me, hit me or shun me, no matter how angry you get with me, the thing is: I always love you. My hair is most definitely a lot grayer these days, my body exhausted come the evening, but my heart – my heart continues to expand like a giant balloon, fuller and fuller with each day we have together, so full of love that, I think, it is a miracle it does not burst.
All my love, forever and ever,